The Two Sides of Me !!

"I am simple girl with a complex mind"

The two sides of me start from this very statement. If you look at me I'll appear normal and simple to you but if you'll dwell deeper you will see how complex a person I am. Sometimes it even gets hard for me to understand myself. 

I am the kinds who take everything very-very seriously yet when you will meet me you will think of me as a frivolous girl. I generally care a lot for people but that care reaches to such level sometimes that it transforms to anger or insecurity. You will find me as a very confident person, but I am someone who panics even in small-small situation. Yes I lose my mind and start shivering, the moment anything goes wrong. The confident me have a thousands of broken unrepairable pieces inside. I am a big attention seeker. So if I start drifting away from you that means I am seeking your attention. I am going away because I want you to stop me.

I do all those things I shouldn't be doing with my closed one like I shout at them, I fight with them, I say anything to them when I am angry without even thinking once. That's because I follow a philosophy that the people who are close to me will understand my anger, my words better than anyone else. I will not be misinterpreted by them. And that they will not think bad of me after that also. I find it better to show my loved ones my "worst side" than showing it to a stranger or a not-so-important person. So it's like when I am angry with someone and I say something bad or act weird, it means I consider them important.

You may find me taking instant decisions but in reality am not a good decision maker. I think upon things so much that I am unable to make any decisions properly. I get so confused that I pick up any option and go with it.
When I am back bitching about someone I love what I am actually doing is taking out all my anger and bad thoughts so I can love that person again without any doubt or complaint.

I have some different techniques and philosophies to handle my life. I don't sound that normal but this is me. Girl who likes to make her life complex and different. Who likes every part of her life to be exciting and happening even if she has to make that up.
There is a me that I hide.. To put it, the Kriti you see outside is way too different from what she's inside. I am not a difficult person but I show myself as one so I can see who loves me enough to understand me beyond my imperfections. :-)


(I know this post is not related to my dreams which is the theme of this blog, but I want people to understand me the way I am so they can understand my dreams better.)

Drums and Boxing !!

Sounds tomboyish but from a very small age I was very much interested in these two activities. Everyday dad used to play with me and he was the one who taught me a few punches. It was just a child's play then. But as I grew older my interest rose.

Now the reason why both interest me goes like this -

Boxing for me is a fighter's game. A fighter never gives up. And that is exactly what this game inspires me to do- to stand back and fight whenever life knocks me down. It even teaches the skill to save yourself from getting hurt while boxing (for me boxing here means living life). Boxing for me is more than a game.. Its more of a childhood memory with my dad :) .. It reminds me of the time when daily dad used to come home from office and play with me..Hopefully I will get my boxing kit soon :D

Drums ... Music is something that can make me laugh and can also make me cry. Most of d time it helps me when I am angry or annoyed or irritated.
Drums is something on which you can bring out all your anger. More than any other music, sound of drum beats soothes me the most.
I believe that it will help me relax my mind.. That is the reason I wanna learn drums :)

I still don't have any of the two. But my interest and wish to learn both is very much alive. Hope someday I will :) ..