"I am simple girl with a complex mind"
The two sides of me start from this very statement. If you look at me I'll appear normal and simple to you but if you'll dwell deeper you will see how complex a person I am. Sometimes it even gets hard for me to understand myself.
I am the kinds who take everything very-very seriously yet when you will meet me you will think of me as a frivolous girl. I generally care a lot for people but that care reaches to such level sometimes that it transforms to anger or insecurity. You will find me as a very confident person, but I am someone who panics even in small-small situation. Yes I lose my mind and start shivering, the moment anything goes wrong. The confident me have a thousands of broken unrepairable pieces inside. I am a big attention seeker. So if I start drifting away from you that means I am seeking your attention. I am going away because I want you to stop me.
I do all those things I shouldn't be doing with my closed one like I shout at them, I fight with them, I say anything to them when I am angry without even thinking once. That's because I follow a philosophy that the people who are close to me will understand my anger, my words better than anyone else. I will not be misinterpreted by them. And that they will not think bad of me after that also. I find it better to show my loved ones my "worst side" than showing it to a stranger or a not-so-important person. So it's like when I am angry with someone and I say something bad or act weird, it means I consider them important.
You may find me taking instant decisions but in reality am not a good decision maker. I think upon things so much that I am unable to make any decisions properly. I get so confused that I pick up any option and go with it.When I am back bitching about someone I love what I am actually doing is taking out all my anger and bad thoughts so I can love that person again without any doubt or complaint.
I have some different techniques and philosophies to handle my life. I don't sound that normal but this is me. Girl who likes to make her life complex and different. Who likes every part of her life to be exciting and happening even if she has to make that up.
There is a me that I hide.. To put it, the Kriti you see outside is way too different from what she's inside. I am not a difficult person but I show myself as one so I can see who loves me enough to understand me beyond my imperfections. :-)
(I know this post is not related to my dreams which is the theme of this blog, but I want people to understand me the way I am so they can understand my dreams better.)
