What do you do when the wonderful world of your dreams comes to end, when you lose all hope of getting it back.  It happened to me and I reacted in the most insane way possible. I thought shutting myself from the world will keep me away from anymore troubles. I dissolved myself totally in work. I thought if there won't be anybody in my life, there would be no troubles. Little did I knew that I was the only trouble in my life and what was happening was all because of my choices and actions. When I realized this, 1.5 yrs had almost past. Coming back to the real world after so much time was a task. I was totally clueless of what to do, how to behave. Just like a little new born baby who knows nothing about the world. I needed somebody to hold my hands walk me through it. There were a few who helped me stand but I had to learn to walk again myself. I thought after coming back from such a shock I had every right to be what I wanted to. I treated people the way I felt like. I don't know if I used anybody in anyway. I became the worst of the worst. Trust me, self pity is the biggest mistake anybody could ever make. I did just exactly that and named it independence. Today when somebody tells me there is something wrong with me or my behaviour, I don't fight with them. Not because I don't care what people think. Its because I know they are right about me, because I know I can't help myself anymore. Its because I am not brave enough to tell the world that I have given up.
Miseries make us forget that we are not the only one suffering. Life is unfair to all and each one of us go through something or the other. What we should not do is become negative. Negativity makes us numb and stupid. It takes away our power to think rationally. I realize this everyday. No matter how much I want to go back to being who I was, I am not able to. I invite problems to come visit me. I land myself in troubles again and again. Life has become a viscious circle of complications. A quicksand from where I am not able to rise. Nobody dragged me to this place. I did it myself.
My dream was to lead a simple life, be a normal girl, have a career, love somebody and get love in return, to get married at 27 when most girls do, to have patience like my mom & sister,  to travel around the world with people I love, to be full of dreams, to not be in troubles, to not be so crazy and stubborn, not be so independent.